New Challenges

I always see new steps in recovery as new challenges. Whether it be trying a new fear food, going out for dinner, having dinner with friends or going for drinks, each step is a new challenge. What I need to remind myself is that given the nature of ‘challenges’, they’re not always going to be fun. However, the more times I challenge myself all of these things will become fun. As I have said before, FEAR= Face Everything And Recover.

I am going to try and accept that as I am still in relatively early stages of recovery, Ed is still going to join me when I’m out for dinner, trying new foods or having a drink. I will still hear his voice and I imagine that when I embark upon pretty tough challenges, he will be shouting pretty loud. But instead of using this as an excuse not to try new things and push myself, I am going to try and just acknowledge his presence and try and turn the volume down. I guess it’s a bit like when you’re stuck on a train and can hear someone’s really loud annoying music or the person next to you is having a really annoying conversation, you can hear it, but it doesn’t mean you have to listen. You just try and block out the sound and get on with what you’re doing.

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One thought on “New Challenges

  1. It sounds like you’re doing great. Ed’s voice is going to be there for a while…recovery is learning to tune it out, disregard his opinion, and assert your own. In time, Ed’s voice will fade. In the meantime, every time you reject it, you’re gaining back more of yourself and quieting Ed’s voice. Keep it up, girl; you’re doing so well!

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