During a recent group therapy session we talked about how to be kind to ourselves. When we were asked how we took care of ourselves it was really sad to sit in the silence that followed. One of the sad things about this disease is that it is slowly destructive and kills your body and spirit little by little each day. In the end, you’ve forgotten how to be kind and how to look after yourself. While I used to watch friends make themselves look nice by painting their nails or doing their hair, I was just thinking about calories and when I would next be able to restrict my food. For me, the only way of look after myself ad feeling good about myself was restriction.
For years I have always bitten my nails but as part of my recovery I have grown my nails and so now they look pretty and long. It may sound silly to say that painting my nails is helping me overcome my eating disorder, but in a weird way it’s true. I have found a new way of feeling nice and good About myself other than food restriction and exercise.
If you too use cutting carlories as a way to feel beautiful and good about yourself, I’d encourage you to try and experiment with a new way of looking after you. Be it painting your nails, having a massage, having a long bath or buying a new top, you may surprise yourself to find that there are far more fun and healthy ways to feel good about yourself