This week has been rather tricky and it was reflected in my picture from this week’s art therapy class. I wasn’t going to upload this picture as I said when I started blogging that this would only be a space to write about my positive steps in recovery, not a space for ED. However, I have listened to a song this week which has helped me look at the picture in a more positive light.
We were asked to illustrate how we were feeling. I began by drawing a big mountain in the centre of the page. If you look really closely you can see me about half way up, right on the edge. This illustrated that I have been feeling really small in comparison to the road (or should I say climb) ahead of me. I have also been feeling really on edge this week. I never used to think to much about my anxiety. People have always said i’m a worrier and worry about absolutely everything and I didn’t really take too much notice. However, this week the worry got too unmanageable even for me and I realised that it isn’t that I am a worrier, it is that I suffer from anxiety. This week I had a feeling of butterflies deep in my chest and whatever I did, I couldn’t shake it off. Normally I would worry/get anxious over food, but as my eating is becoming less disordered, my anxiety is manifesting itself in other areas of my life.
So all in all, it has been a tricky week and I was finding it hard to get the strength to keep climbing up what felt like Mount Everest.
However, the song my Dad got me to listen to today was a cover of the song called ‘Gold in Them Hills’ by Katie Melua: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=N8_wpqMBPz8
Some of the lyrics include:
‘Though our troubles seem like mountains, There’s gold in them hills, There’s gold in them hills, So don’t loose heart, Give the day a chance to start’.
It gives me hope that there is ‘Gold’ in this mountain climb. I just need to pick myself up, keep faith, keep climbing and then maybe I’ll find it!