Last night I had a presentation from a company about their graduate schemes. It was an open bar and when we arrived we were asked to help ourselves to “wine, beer or cider”. So I just casually strolled over to the bar and ordered a glass of white wine.
Although to most people this would seem like no big deal, it actually marked a massive step in my recovery. Why? Because I went over to the bar and ordered a glass of wine without even thinking about it. Not even the slightest ‘I wonder how many calories are in that’ or ‘you could just have a diet coke’… nothing! It was only until 5 minutes after that I realised what I had in my hand. It took me by surprise that I had ordered and drank wine without over analysing and considering the million and one reasons why I could have something else. I just did it.
It was the first time in a very long time that I managed to order anything without hearing Ed’s opinion first and it felt FANTASTIC! I felt so free! And even when I did realise what I had in my hand, and even when Ed did tell me I should just hold it and not drink it, and even when I did remember that I was being weighed the next day, all I could think was… F**k it!