“To love oneself is the beginning of a life-long romance” – Oscar Wilde

Tonight my friend and I were planning our girls night out for valentines day. I hate valentines day, I always have. I have never been with a boy on valentines day and so for me, it is just a day to remember how single and lonely I am. Every time I walk past shop windows full off heart shaped chocolate, teddies and cards I just feel worse about myself.

After I moaned to my friend about how I think I’m destined to be alone forever, she told me I just need to have a bit more self confidence. She said I have lots of great attributes and guys do fancy me, I just need to start believing it.

I wish it were that simple. The problem is, I find it so hard to believe what she’s saying. If it was true, then why have I never had a boyfriend?

Plus, having self-confidence isn’t easy when every time I look in the mirror I just wish I could cut parts of my body off. I am forever battling with a voice telling me how much better I would be if I could drop a dress size or two. If only I could drop a few pounds then I would be so much more beautiful, so much more loveable.

I know it’s all lies. Being thin didn’t make people love me more, it just made people worry more. And being worried about isn’t a good thing. As I wrote in my divorce letter, “Being thin doesn’t make me more special… It doesn’t make me a better person and it doesn’t make me more beautiful”

I just hope that this valentines day I can start trying to love myself. Maybe then, people can start loving me back.

One thought on ““To love oneself is the beginning of a life-long romance” – Oscar Wilde

  1. Reading this post makes me want to give you a big hug. Start working on that self confidence and your Prince will come for you. You are Beautiful and you have to start believing it like every one else does xxxx

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