Given that writing is one of my primary tools in recovery, I have been thinking about writing a blog for a few months now. However, I was never too sure what to write and how to structure it. Unsurprisingly, I was waiting until I had the perfect blog entries before starting. However, recently someone told me that there is no wrong way to write something down, the only wrong way is to write nothing at all … so here I am.
The second reason why I was hesitant about writing a blog is that I didn’t want to give power to my Eating Disorder. Part of my journey to recovery is learning how to feel special without Anorexia and letting go of it. So I figured that if I were always writing about it, then I would be putting my Anorexia in the limelight. I then had to consider, does writing about anorexia keep me sick or keep me healthy? I was a bit stumped when I first asked myself this question. On the one hand it helps me to write down how I feel, but writing things down in my journal is somewhat different to writing things on the internet. If I blog about my eating disorder and people begin reading it and becoming interested in it, then I think it will keep me sick. It will be even harder to give up.
So, for this reason, I have decided not to write about how my anorexia takes over my life, knocks me down and beats me up. But how my journey to recovery is giving me a new life, picking me up and looking after me. This isn’t so much a blog about my eating disorder, my ED has had enough of the limelight for the last seven years. Instead, this is a blog about what it is like to be ME without ED and the steps I am taking to get there.