Last night, unsurprisingly, my parents sat me down to talk. They had read my blog and noticed the change in my behaviour. At first I wanted to run away and not talk about anything. But I knew deep down it was the right thing.
After talking things through and discussing what we should do next I felt a lot better. The whole talk reminded me that whilst I may be the only one who can beat my eating disorder, I can’t do it alone.
Sharing my struggles and fears with my parents reminded me of how important it is to not keep everything to yourself. My eating disorder was the one who didn’t want to talk about anything. And of course Ed would think that. By keeping things to myself I can continue down a path of denial and destruction. The truth is, speaking to other people helps and it takes some of the weight of your own shoulders.
I know deep down my last blog post was a cry for help. I don’t like admitting that because Ed is telling me I don’t need anyone’s help and I can do it alone. The problem is that I can’t recover alone. I can only make myself worse alone.
Yesterday WordPress notified me that I have made 100 posts. I felt really proud of that. Since I have started blogging it has been amazing to know that while I help myself in my own journey of recovery, I am helping others too.
Since I started treatment I have always been encouraged to write things down or ‘hand things over’ to someone else. In sum, not keep things totally to myself. I am a real believer that in writing your troubles or achievements down, or by sharing them with someone else, the problem won’t feel as bad. A problem shared is a problem halved.
So in today’s post I just want to thank everyone who has supported me via my blog, your kind words are a huge encouragement. I also wan’t to thank everyone who reads my posts- I hope they help you as much as they help me. For those of you who are suffering with your own ED’s, by sharing our stories of recovery I hope our strength against ED can become even stronger. For those of you who are fortunate to not be suffering with an ED, I hope my stories have given you a little bit more of an insight into a life with Ed.